“Dance with a girl three times, and if you like the light of her eye and the tone of voice with which she, breathless, answers your little questions about horseflesh and music about affairs masculine and feminine, then take the leap in the dark.“
Anthony Trollope, Orley Farm
I had a dream where I met my feminine identity.
I was in a busy open air train station with one of my best friends. It was busy and it must have been cold because everyone was bundled up. From almost nowhere came a woman, small, but with hair the color of autumn and a lot of fire to her. She wore a loose fitting white Henley t-shirt, weathered jeans that were rolled up to mid-shin, and walked barefoot. There was a lion cub walking by her side. She also wore a long knife on her hip.
We didn’t speak but there was something very familiar about her. She was exquisitely beautiful but I didn’t desire her- I knew this being was a part of me. She paused for a moment, long enough for the lion cub to nuzzle my leg. Then they were both gone.
In the weeks leading up to this I had been reading a lot about women. The way many of them flow with emotions, and are incredibly adaptable to a variety of things the world deals them. I found this lady who does workshops for women, helping them to appreciate men. Her name is Alison Armstrong and her website is here. She has a lot of podcasts and in listening to her explain men to women (warning: she knows all of our secrets), she revealed many things about the fairer sex. Definitely worth checking out.
I think a lot of tension that comes from men’s interactions with women is that there is an expectation for them to complete something in us. What we don’t realize is that all those things we are looking for in women are already inside us- they just get buried. Society and culture tells us that men have to be this thing, stoic and unfeeling, and if you’re anything other than that you are less than. The Bible says women are to be quiet and subservient. There are a slew of women’s magazine articles with explicit instructions on how to make him love you more. Conversely there is a shitload of literature written for men on how to keep her by your side, how your six-pack abs will fix your love life and how to resolve your relationship woes in six painless steps.
To me this is total bullshit. We can’t find balance with another person till we find balance in ourselves. You are already complete, there is balance within you and you need no one to fill a place in you which you perceive to be empty. In the same way, it is not your responsibility to fill someone else’s emptiness, regardless of what society, modern media or ancient texts try to tell you. Balance yourself and everything else will compliment you.
Once things come into balance, fruition can occur. Seeds need the proper balance of temperature, moisture, and soil composition to germinate. A storm needs the proper meteorological conditions to develop into a force of nature. From this place of stability things can blossom outward. The possibilities are endless.
To the autumn-haired lady that lives somewhere inside of me: thank you for the lessons. This blade honors those lessons.
After heat treat… She is properly tempered- the blue near the spine of the blade means there is some flex and bend while the grey color near the cutting edge is hard and edgeworthy. Too much of one or the other and the blade will be brittle and prone to shattering, or won’t be hard enough to hold an edge. Proper balance is key…
This is the blade that the autumn-haired woman carried. Gentle but strong, beautiful but functional, simple but so much depth… The way to fruition is to find a balance of the things within you. Don’t worry, it’s all there. Just have a peak around…this is the lesson of the Lioness